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 JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more

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Darkdub
VAG Resident
Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
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Registration date : 2008-12-06

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:00

So cmon guys bit o entertainment for us all..


Lets see who can make us LOL hard.............


Last edited by Darkdub on Fri Feb 13 2009, 00:19; edited 1 time in total
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
Ride : THE DARKDUB
Registration date : 2008-12-06

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:03

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:06

One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?"

"What?"

I pissed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:10

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:13

ONE MORE FOR THE NIGHT..........

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
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Cymro
VAG Wales Admin
Cymro

Number of posts : 2222
Ride : Mk2 Polo "Fern", Kia Sportage
Registration date : 2008-03-26

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:14

hahaha, last one is brilliant.

_________________
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit"

McLOVIN - RE: Polo Show 2011 - There was a ginger alert at the gate?? Man that place is well ahead of the times, next they'll be installing gas fittings into the shower heads in the gingers showers...

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more BannerOEM2-crop
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 00:27

and some Motivationals...................

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Blasphemyup6

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Motivator1954156

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Stupiditywm0

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Ironman


Very Happy
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jij_mellow_yellow
Scene Mincer
jij_mellow_yellow

Number of posts : 989
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Registration date : 2008-12-21

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 12:10

How do u get a backwards b!!! PMSL
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Cymro
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Cymro

Number of posts : 2222
Ride : Mk2 Polo "Fern", Kia Sportage
Registration date : 2008-03-26

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 13:22

hahaha. the b/d one has cheered me up no end.


JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Somewhere

_________________
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit"

McLOVIN - RE: Polo Show 2011 - There was a ginger alert at the gate?? Man that place is well ahead of the times, next they'll be installing gas fittings into the shower heads in the gingers showers...

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more BannerOEM2-crop
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
Ride : THE DARKDUB
Registration date : 2008-12-06

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 13 2009, 13:42

LOL clown
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Darkdub
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Darkdub

Number of posts : 486
Ride : THE DARKDUB
Registration date : 2008-12-06

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 14 2009, 19:35

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more OHSweet

This one wins Cool
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matt
The Guv'nor
matt

Number of posts : 3456
Ride : lupo gti with a bit of a kick
Registration date : 2008-02-03

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 14 2009, 19:42

Motivationals FTW!

_________________
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Peter

20v-turbo
Quote :
tahts the trouble with fit women they cd rape you but your actauuly saying yes
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Cymro
VAG Wales Admin
Cymro

Number of posts : 2222
Ride : Mk2 Polo "Fern", Kia Sportage
Registration date : 2008-03-26

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySun Feb 15 2009, 15:19

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more 1195987531067

_________________
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit"

McLOVIN - RE: Polo Show 2011 - There was a ginger alert at the gate?? Man that place is well ahead of the times, next they'll be installing gas fittings into the shower heads in the gingers showers...

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more BannerOEM2-crop
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Cymro
VAG Wales Admin
Cymro

Number of posts : 2222
Ride : Mk2 Polo "Fern", Kia Sportage
Registration date : 2008-03-26

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyWed Feb 18 2009, 10:25

hahaha,

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Soon


JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more 1195288350961

god im bored.

_________________
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit"

McLOVIN - RE: Polo Show 2011 - There was a ginger alert at the gate?? Man that place is well ahead of the times, next they'll be installing gas fittings into the shower heads in the gingers showers...

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more BannerOEM2-crop
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jij_mellow_yellow
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jij_mellow_yellow

Number of posts : 989
Ride : pug power!!
Registration date : 2008-12-21

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyWed Feb 18 2009, 11:11

Lmao how evil does that guy look. lol
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jij_mellow_yellow
Scene Mincer
jij_mellow_yellow

Number of posts : 989
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Registration date : 2008-12-21

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyWed Feb 18 2009, 21:23

Here's a few piccys 4 ya..Wink


JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Funnypic1

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Funnypic2

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Fn_CKVSZ

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Fn_CKM0H

afro
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mErCuTi0
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mErCuTi0

Number of posts : 1331
Ride : Audi A6 1.8T
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyWed Feb 18 2009, 22:39

Mindfuck: --> shiznit! T-REX! RUN!... or.. stand still.. hmm, how confoooooooooooooooozing.

_________________
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Forum_11
^^^^^^^^^^= Audi A6 - 1.8T - 20v =^^^^^^^^^^
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more 33164
- Forge Dump Valve * Yellow Spring (9 PSI)
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jij_mellow_yellow
Scene Mincer
jij_mellow_yellow

Number of posts : 989
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Registration date : 2008-12-21

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyThu Feb 19 2009, 22:51

mErCuTi0 wrote:
Mindfuck: --> shiznit! T-REX! RUN!... or.. stand still.. hmm, how confoooooooooooooooozing.

I know what i would do...f*cking runnnnn..lmao
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Cymro
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Cymro

Number of posts : 2222
Ride : Mk2 Polo "Fern", Kia Sportage
Registration date : 2008-03-26

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyThu Feb 19 2009, 23:22

jij_mellow_yellow wrote:
mErCuTi0 wrote:
Mindfuck: --> shiznit! T-REX! RUN!... or.. stand still.. hmm, how confoooooooooooooooozing.

I know what i would do...f*cking runnnnn..lmao

Remember things in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they actually are.

_________________
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit"

McLOVIN - RE: Polo Show 2011 - There was a ginger alert at the gate?? Man that place is well ahead of the times, next they'll be installing gas fittings into the shower heads in the gingers showers...

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more BannerOEM2-crop
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mErCuTi0
VAG Wales Admin
mErCuTi0

Number of posts : 1331
Ride : Audi A6 1.8T
Registration date : 2008-05-25

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptyFri Feb 20 2009, 21:51

TURN THE LIGHT OFF! TURN THE LIGHT OFF!!!

Laughing

_________________
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Forum_11
^^^^^^^^^^= Audi A6 - 1.8T - 20v =^^^^^^^^^^
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more 33164
- Forge Dump Valve * Yellow Spring (9 PSI)
=~= Get your VAG Wales stickers here =~=
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stickygreen
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stickygreen

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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 21 2009, 11:46

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more MissChernobyl2004

Miss Chernobyl 2004

_________________
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Banner11

JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Wh611
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jij_mellow_yellow
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jij_mellow_yellow

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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 21 2009, 11:48

stickygreen wrote:
JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more MissChernobyl2004

Miss Chernobyl 2004

yah man, a perfect woman for gill Wink...fancy tag teaming her?? lmao
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stickygreen
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stickygreen

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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 21 2009, 11:51

fokin right man, enough for 4 there mate Razz

_________________
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Wh611
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jij_mellow_yellow
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jij_mellow_yellow

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PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 21 2009, 11:53

stickygreen wrote:
fokin right man, enough for 4 there mate Razz

yaman, i'd love to bone her just to show the vid to the boys Wink lmao
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stickygreen
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stickygreen

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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Empty
PostSubject: Re: JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more   JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more EmptySat Feb 21 2009, 12:01

jij_mellow_yellow wrote:
stickygreen wrote:
fokin right man, enough for 4 there mate Razz

yaman, i'd love to bone her just to show the vid to the boys Wink lmao

hahaha 1 for the teamm! cheers

_________________
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JOKE/MOTIVATIONAL THREAD..........need i say no more Wh611
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